Fitz is a mouse with a jet-car, a courier job and a powerful thirst. His world doesn't hold still: when lightning strikes, he's somewhere else, doing something else. That's life, carry on as if nothing happened. Stay drunk enough to care and sane enough to function, for as long as you can.
WARNING: this game uses full-screen flashes of light.
GETTING STARTED
- Insert the cartridge (or load the ROM in your emulator) and turn the power on.
- Plug Joystick Controllers into both controller jacks. Every game uses both sticks. In these instructions the left stick is the joystick in the left jack and the right stick the one in the right jack. One player can hold a stick in each hand, or two players can share the job.
- Press either fire button or GAME RESET to start. GAME RESET starts a new game at any time.
THE TWO METERS
Two bars run across the top of the screen. The upper bar is BAC (blood alcohol), the lower bar is SANITY. Each bar turns red when it gets near either end. Run a meter off either end and the game is over:
| Meter | Too low | Too high |
|---|---|---|
| BAC | TOO SOBER: Fitz gets bored and quits | TOO DRUNK: Fitz can't function |
| SANITY | TOO INSANE: Fitz falls apart | TOO SANE: Fitz gets bored and quits |
- BAC drains steadily. Only beer brings it back up.
- Every beer costs sanity. Drinking keeps Fitz going, but pushes him toward insanity.
- Sanity slowly slides toward insane on its own. Playing well earns it back; mistakes cost you.
- Nothing else ends the game. A crash, a missed note or a hit from an enemy only costs you on the meters, and you carry on.
THE LIGHTNING
Every so often, lightning fills the screen and you're thrown into one of the four games at random. Each game freezes when you leave and picks up exactly where you left it when you return, with a moment of safety to get your bearings. The longer you survive, the more often the lightning strikes.
Two of the games (the drums and Asprind Wars) have little or no beer. Drink up while you can, because the lightning may keep you dry for a while.
1. DRINK DRIVING
Fitz couriers packages between Shark's office and the Rectangular Businessman's bank in his upside-down jet-car.
- Left stick: flies the car up and down. The car has weight: it drifts and bounces, so steer early.
- Right stick: shake it up and down to drink a beer from your stock (the pips at the top of the play area). Fly into the beers coming toward you to restock, up to 9.
- Obstacles come at you on the road and in the air. Three hits and the car blows up, costing a lot of sanity.
- Deliveries: when the car flashes yellow and blue you're passing the door. Press either fire button to throw the package in for points and sanity. Let the door go by and you lose sanity; miss three in a row and the car blows up.
- Sick jumps: big airtime earns sanity.
- BAC matters here: sober, the car is sluggish; with a good buzz it handles crisply; too drunk and the controls lag and wobble.
2. SKILLET'S DRUMS
Skillet plays the drums. Forever. Arrows scroll up the screen toward the bar.
- The left four lanes belong to the left stick, the right four to the right stick, in the order left, down, up, right.
- Push the matching direction on the matching stick as each arrow reaches the bar. A diagonal hits two arrows on one stick at once.
- Good timing earns points. A missed arrow costs sanity, and so does pressing too early: mashing doesn't work.
- Sanity rises steadily while you play here, but there's no beer, so BAC keeps falling.
3. ASPRIND WARS
A never-ending shooting gallery around a wandering sun.
- Left stick: moves Fitz in eight directions.
- Right stick: fires in the direction you push it. The fire buttons aren't used.
- Your shots are pulled by the sun's gravity, so they curve, orbit and fall in. As Fitz's sanity drops the sun collapses into a black hole and pulls harder.
- Kill the pills, peanut cops, hoovervacs and annoying women for points and a little sanity. Being touched costs sanity (the annoying woman costs double).
- Corn dogs raise your score multiplier, up to x4. Getting hurt resets it. Every other pickup is a beer instead.
- Bosses: the Rectangular Businessman (who shoots back) and the Shark take turns showing up. They take many hits, pay a big bonus and bring both meters back toward the middle.
4. CORN DOG CAPERS
Fitz and Roostre defend a row of corn dog trees from attackers falling from the sky.
- Left stick: moves Fitz's crosshair. Right stick: moves Roostre's crosshair.
- Hold fire to charge a corn dog, release to throw it at the crosshair. A longer charge throws harder; corn dogs fall under gravity. Both of you throw from one shared supply (the pips along the ground), which refills over time.
- Attackers that reach a tree destroy it. Trees regrow, faster when Fitz is saner, and sanity drains faster when trees are missing.
- Beer bottles fly across now and then. Whoever shoots one drinks it: Fitz's crosshair feeds Fitz, Roostre's feeds Roostre.
- Roostre has his own BAC (a third bar). Sober, he eats from your corn dog supply; drunk, his crosshair wobbles. It never ends the game.
- Golden Joe sometimes appears in the background. Hit him and he explodes, taking a quarter of your trees with him. Leave him alone until he teleports away and Fitz gains sanity.
- Eye someteyemes drops eyen, slowly, toward a tree. Hit it four teyemes before eyet lands.
DIFFICULTY SWITCHES
The switches can be changed during play.
| Switch | A | B |
|---|---|---|
| LEFT DIFFICULTY | Expert: the meters drift faster, and sanity gains and losses are full size | Sanity gains and losses are halved. Beginners start here. |
| RIGHT DIFFICULTY | The lightning strikes more often | Normal |
| COLOR / B-W | Normal | Inverts the brightness of every colour |
SCORING
You score in every game: avoiding obstacles and delivering packages, hitting notes, shooting enemies and bosses, and knocking down attackers. Your score is shown when the game ends.
PLAYING TIPS FROM SAD ENBY GAMES
- Drink before you need to. The lightning can keep you away from beer for a long time.
- In Drink Driving the road is safe from flying obstacles, but the beers are up in the air.
- Sanity is easiest to earn on the drums. If Fitz is close to insane, you'll be glad to land there.
- Don't max out BAC. A happy buzz is the sweet spot.
TIPS FOR USING TWO JOYSTICKS
You may find yourself asking, how can I play an Atari game that requires me to use two joysticks? Here are a few strategies for that:
- I use double sided tape to connect two standard Atari joysticks together. This works great, and there is a good chance you already have tape.
- Quickshot joysticks, as an example, have suction cups explicitly so you don't have to hold them.
- You can find 3d printed "Robotron joystick holders" for either printing yourself, or to purchase on Etsy.
- Finally, there are dedicated dual joystick setups such as the Battlestation. I do not expect you would obtain one for such a frivolous game though!
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Designed and implemented by Jaymz Julian from Sad Enby Games. Their robot friend, Claude, assisted with the code and manual layout.